woensdag 22 september 2010

New pictureeeeeee

hahaha, I made a new picture of myself ,yesterday.
I actually like it very much =P.
Everyday, I fight back the urge to text you or talk to you. Telling myself that if you wanted to speak me, you would.

zondag 19 september 2010

Boring sunday!

Homework ,homework, homework.. that's all I'm doing today. Oh, yeah, and cleaning my room.
I've got a new necklace btw, I love it very much.

It's an Ankh, an Egyptian crusifix. <3

donderdag 16 september 2010

Everything that I wanted was somebody to love me. I wanted a true love ,even with all my mistakes, my bad mood and the crazy things that I do. And for this ,I've bet on you. I've bet that you would make things right, that you would love me, give me flowers, and kiss me, even when your friends were with us. But you dissapointed me, because not even one of these things happened. In fact, just a love would be enough for me; a kiss and a hug, and nothing else. I tried to forget you ,and for a while I thought that I had.. but when I saw you, I knew that I hadn't. I wanted to stay strong and I wished I could stay with you without crying, but this wish hasn't come true, as all the others that I had with you. I wanted to be strong enough to hide my pain. Now, I just see that it was not your fault. You're so immature and I shouldn't let myself think that you could be different. I'm still looking for my true love and for this, I ask you: Please, just leave me alone, because I need this to keep going on with my life. I need peace and love.. I need happiness. Go away, so I can make sure that it's not you ,so I can try to be happy. As if I really could be happy without you....

vrijdag 10 september 2010

sick, tired,

I actually had to go to school today, but I'm at home. I still feel terrible and I'm ill. I'm watching youtube, and weheartit. I'm so f* ing bored, seriously. Can anyone tell me what I can do to feel less bored :')? Well, like it couldn't be worse, a friend of my friend, comitted suicide, he hanged himself in a tree o_o. So, yeah, he feels terrible too. WELL! I think I'm going to sleep again, and hope I feel better soon (:



Missing someone isn't about how long it has been since you've seen them or the amount of time since you've talked. It's about that very moment when you're doing something and wishing they were right there with you.

donderdag 26 augustus 2010

"You really love him, do you?"

A psychological question, no name was mentioned ,but suddenly someone came into your mind.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy marshmallows.. Which are kinda the same thing (':
Hello, I miss you quite terribly
Isn't it "funny" how you can feel so alone while the whole room is filled with people? I was at school today, but I didn't enjoy that. I saw all my friends, though. I feel terrible. They always say that there's only one boy you'll never get over. -.-''. Well, I hope I feel better soon, because I don't want to feel this way. =[

zaterdag 21 augustus 2010

My day :3

Today I went to a friend, we talked for hours and I feel pretty good now. We talked about life, about boys, about almost everything :'). We went to the centre of Apeldoorn to buy a band shirt for him, one of Apocalyptica.. :'). So yeah, today was the best day of this week ,I actually feel pretty good right now, but I already said that, lol. Tuesday is my first-day-to-school.

vrijdag 20 augustus 2010


I still can't believe Koen isn't my boyfriend anymore.. I want him back. That won't happen, but I want it so bad ><. I miss him like crazy, and I don't know what I have to do. My friends don't talk to me, so I'm all alone ><. Even my best friend, Robin, doesn't talk to me... Damn, my life sucks..

donderdag 19 augustus 2010

He just walked away, why didn't he tell me? And where do I go tonight? This isn't happening to me.. this can't be happening to me. He didn't say a word, just walked away. He was the first to say, that we were not okay. He was the first to lie, when we were not alright. This was my first love, he was my first to go. And when he left me for you, I was the last to know. Why didn't he tell me, where to go tonight? He didn't say a word, he just walked away..  I'll be the first to say, that I'm now okay. And for the first time I've opened up my eyes. This was my worst love. You'll be the first to go, and when he leaves you for dead. You'll be the last to know..
There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept. Things we don't want to know, but have to learn. And people we can't live without, but have to let go..

woensdag 18 augustus 2010

And I didn't know that I could miss someone so much ):

dinsdag 17 augustus 2010

Broke Up..

My boyfriend just broke up with me.. I feel so numb, so empty.. so.. broken ): I have no idea what to do, I miss him ): 
Why does this happen to me all the time?

 I have a heart... a heart that's aching to see you smile again.

zondag 15 augustus 2010

Awesome song from Katatonia!

Happy happy happy happy!

I'm happy! Becauuuuuuse.. I'm going to see Koen tomorrow! After 4 weeks of being "lonely" I'm finally going to see him again! I've missed him so much. Oh happy dayyyyy.. hihi. Tonight is an outdoor movie festival. Really awesome. They're gonna show Alice In Wonderland ;D!


woensdag 11 augustus 2010

The worst feeling you'll ever feel is sitting next to the person who means the world to you and knowing that you mean nothing to him.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring. All of which have the potential to turn a life around.

maandag 9 augustus 2010


Good morning, it's a lovely morning.
Good morning, what a wonderful day.
We danced the whole night through.
Good morning, good morning to you.

Helloooo *nerdface*. This is the first night I slept well. I have no idea what I'm going to do today, but first! Breakfast! *brb*. Okay, I'm back. Oh ,Asha's back in town (H), hihi. So today, is a totally-awesome-day. Seriously, I've no idea what to post xD. Btw, I forgot to post something yesterday ;p. 


zaterdag 7 augustus 2010

I love this song!

Dear God, the only thing I ask of you,
is to hold her when I'm not around, when I'm much too far away.
We all need that person who can be true to you,
but I left her when I found her and now I wish I'd stayed.
Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired, I'm missing you again.
Oh no, once again

Double Rainbow Song!

Twilight: New Moon

I felt like I was trapped in one of those terrifying nightmares, the one where you have to run, run till your lungs burst, but you can't make your body move fast enough.

Yesterday I started to read Twilight: New Moon. I liked the first book very much ,so I thougt: I'm going to read New Moon too! And yeah, I like it so far. The preface is beautiful and I started with the first chapter :). I think the books are nicer and more beautiful than the movies. :)..

I'm still freakin' tired and I can't sleep at night. It's driving me crazy. I think I can't sleep because I miss Koen.. I feel so miserable.. :(


vrijdag 6 augustus 2010

My beautiful boyfriend.

This is Koen, my boyfriend. I posted this picture because he deserves a place on my blog. The quality isn't very good, but that doesn't matter at all! Look at his smile *__*. I love you very much, Koen. Thanks for making me a better person and making my life so much better! <3


ps. visit his DeviantArt!


When you love someone.. I mean, when you truly love someone. That person becomes part of you, they become your life, your everything. They change you and inspire you in so many different ways that are indescribable. How do you let go someone who had made such an impact on your life? How do you let go the only thing that keeps you going, keeps you strong? Loving someone with all you have is letting go of fear, because when you love someone whole-heartedly, you let go of yourself. To live is to love, so how do you let go someone you truly care about? The truth is, I don't think you can.. I think ,no matter what happens, whether you're together or not.. They're in your heart, always..


It's like this..

I'm a bitch because I don't let you push me around. I'm a liar because I won't tell you everything. I'm stupid because sometimes I'm wrong. I'm ugly because my face isn't perfect. I'm a whore because I like boys. I'm annoying because I'm not chill enough. I'm fake because most of the time I'm happy. I'm weird because I'm not like you. I'm controlling because I get mad. Sometimes I'm clingy because I like being around people. I'm greedy because I like to be satisfied. I'm naive because I'm younger than you. I'm conceited because I'm proud of who I am. I'm rude because my manners aren't perfect. I'm unappreciative because I don't praise you. So, don't tell me who I am because I already know :).


My day #1

Today I went to Leiden to go to Corpus, that's a sort off museum about the human body. It was kinda interesting but there wasn't much to do. So after an hour of being guided, we went back home. (we = my parents, brother and I). And yeah, that wasn't much fun, because there was an huge traffic jam so we had a delay of eh, an hour I think. But now the fun part: when I've got nothing to do, I'm going to watch people who sit in the car next to our car. And guess what! I saw Derek Ogilvie! Yeah I'm serious right now. I waved and he waved back hahaha! He's so awesome :). And now I'm bored again, ugh I hate being bored. I miss Koen, he's in Austria right now, on a holiday with his uncle, aunt, cousin and his little brother. So I can't see him for two whole weeks! *lives in hell*. I can't take it any longer! :( Oh btw! I've got a beautiful picture of a fly! *giggles*. It's made by me. And no, it's not arrogant that I say it's a beautiful picture ,just because I made it by myself. I don't think the quality is very well on the internet, but it's made with my lovely Nikon! <3. xoxo.

donderdag 5 augustus 2010

End of the day! At least, here in Holland!

And everybody knows what that means... Yes! Sleeping time! My kind of escaping from reality ;). I love to sleep, except for the fact that I can't talk to Koen or my other friends.. Anyway, I'm tired and bored. Does anyone have an idea what I can do ;p? Hihi, hmm, today was the most boring day so far. I had absolutely nothing to do. Oh, wait! Never mind! I know what I can do ;). I'm going to watch Charlieissocoollike on Youtube! ;)

Night Night!